Six questions, five outcomes, no data collected — this runs entirely in your browser and I never see a single answer. The results are meaner than you are expecting, which is the point. Be honest, it is more fun that way.
the questions
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1. Something in the house is wrong. You can feel it. What do you do?
- Turn every light on and announce loudly that I am not afraid
- Nothing. Sit in it. It has probably been wrong for a while
- Work out what changed. There is always a cause and I will find it
- Open a window, say something polite to it, carry on
- Say nothing and quietly watch to see what it does next
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2. Somebody wronged you, properly, a long time ago.
- They know. Everyone knows. It was not subtle
- I have not thought about it in years, he said, thinking about it
- I simply became better than them and let that be the answer
- We settled it, oddly amicably, over something trivial
- I am not in a hurry. These things arrange themselves
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3. Pick a place to be at 3am.
- Somewhere with a fire going and far too much noise
- A room I used to live in, standing still, not touching anything
- High up, alone, looking down at all of it
- Ankle-deep in cold water somewhere I should not be
- A doorway. Just inside it. Perfectly comfortable
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4. Pick a sound.
- A drum, close, felt in the chest more than heard
- A single note held so long you forget it started
- Wind through pines, high up, with nothing else in it
- Water moving over stones, endlessly, slightly too loud
- Silk. Somebody moving in another room. Very close
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5. Someone underestimates you to your face.
- I correct them immediately and at volume
- I say nothing and remember it for an unreasonable length of time
- I let them finish, then demonstrate. Slowly
- I agree with them enthusiastically until it stops being fun for them
- Wonderful. Genuinely the most useful thing they could have done
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6. A stranger asks you something you would rather not answer.
- I tell them exactly why that was a poor question
- I answer a different question and hope they do not notice
- I answer honestly and at far greater length than they wanted
- I make them agree to something small first. Then I answer
- I ask them something better and let them talk instead
the results
鬼 Oni
Horns, iron club, tiger-skin, and absolutely no interest in being subtle about any of it. You take up the room you are in and you would rather be disliked accurately than liked by mistake. The thing people miss about oni is that a great many of them started out as somebody ordinary who was pushed too far — and that in half the old stories they are the ones guarding the gate.
幽 Yūrei
White clothes, long hair, hands hanging from the wrists, and a piece of unfinished business you have described to everyone as completely fine. You are not vengeful. You are just still here, and still thinking about it, and nobody involved has quite understood that you never actually left the room.
天 Tengu
Mountain-dwelling, extravagantly capable, and just insufferable enough that the old stories keep finding new ways to humble you. You are genuinely good at the thing and you have never once let anyone forget it. In the folklore the tengu is both the arrogant one and the teacher — usually in the same afternoon, usually against its will.
河 Kappa
River-dwelling, rule-obsessed, and far more dangerous than the cucumber jokes suggest. You are the one who will drag somebody into deep water and then keep a promise to them with perfect precision. Bow to a kappa and it must bow back — which spills the water from the dish on its head and undoes it entirely. Your manners are the whole vulnerability.
絡 Jorōgumo
The spider that learned to look like a person, and then learned to be very good company. You are patient in a way that unsettles people once they notice it, you never chase anything, and everything you have ever wanted eventually walked toward you of its own accord. You would call that luck. Nobody who knows you would.